The POWERFUL Differences Between Romance, Desire, Lust, Passion, Intimacy & LOVE

Read on to find out what’s happening to your emotions and your brain chemicals at each of the six phases of love. 1. Romance is when: You feel butterflies when you talk or see each other. You want to do things to make each other happy. You want to understand his or her mind ...
09.19.2017 - 7:10 AM Comments: 0
Read more

Why More Men Should Be ‘Just Friends’ With Women

Wait, aren’t you the guy who says that men and women can’t be ‘just friends’?” Yep, that’s me. Can men and women be just friends? No. Because I have long held the (accurate) position that men and women are unable to be 100 percent platonic friends because a man’s biological ...
09.14.2017 - 7:30 AM Comments: 0
Read more

How to find love with 5 basic rules?

1. The 'You'll discover love when you're not looking' approach might not be right. Try Meeti App That resembles saying, "You'll discover work when you're slightest searching for it," said Pepper Schwartz, a relationship master and humanism educator at the University of ...
09.8.2017 - 12:51 AM Comments: 0
Read more

Reasons You Always End Up Annoyed With The Guys Who Like You

Is it you ... or them? You’re a single gal and ready to meet a great guy. There are many ways to meet guys, but attracting the right type of guy seems to be a bit more of a challenge. Why does it often feel like the guys who pursue you, the ones who really like you, are so ...
08.24.2017 - 1:36 PM Comments: 0
Read more
×
Download Meeti app for free!

Read on to find out what’s happening to your emotions and your brain chemicals at each of the six phases of love.
1. Romance is when:
You feel butterflies when you talk or see each other.
You want to do things to make each other happy.
You want to understand his or her mind and what makes it tick.
You want to spend as much time together as possible.
Your brain is reacting to pheromones, triggering attraction.

2. Desire is when:
You having a longing for another.
You want to experience a romantic and sexual journey together.
Your curiosity and erotic imagination for each other is fertile.
You can experience erotic connection together and separately.
Your body releases androgens (like testosterone) and/or estrogens, causing arousal to blossom.

3. Lust is when:
You have a longing for sex to fulfill your emotions.
You feel so horny you just want to get laid by someone.
You experience intense erotic fantasies with another.
Your ultimate goal is sexual satisfaction and fulfillment.
Your Desire ‘cocktail’ continues to arouse, adding in Nitric Oxide, which increases blood flow to the genitals.

4. Passion is when:
You intensely want someone physically and emotionally.
You create mystery and have confidence individually and together.
You have fun, laugh, and create surprises, novelty and playfulness.
You make love creatively and focus on each other’s pleasure.
Adrenaline is making you feel “madly in love.”

5. Intimacy is when:
You are comfortable sharing everything without any fear.
You show each other appreciation through words and actions.
You make a commitment to each other.
When your two hearts feel like one!
Your brain releases oxytocin, the bonding chemical.

6. Love is when:
You have a strong feeling of affection for another.
You want your beloved to express their love with words and actions.
Your partner brings out intimate communication, touching, kissing and spiritual connection within you.
You have the five ingredients of friendship, respect, trust, communication and passion for your love to last.
Your brain releases oxytocin (the bonding chemical) and vasopressin, the long-term commitment hormone.

Wait, aren’t you the guy who says that men and women can’t be ‘just friends’?” Yep, that’s me.

Can men and women be just friends? No. Because I have long held the (accurate) position that men and women are unable to be 100 percent platonic friends because a man’s biological programming will always bring thoughts into his head that escalate beyond friendship. Women are able to separate men into a “just friends” category, whereas men don’t have this ability.

But that’s a different conversation for a different time.

You see, growing up, I was always the nice guy. The best friend. The “you’re like a brother to me.” And let me tell ya, it sucked. I also had more friends who were in a similar boat, but there was really one difference that stood out to me.

They would get visibly frustrated and mad at girls, whereas I would accept my defeat and continue spending time with the girls in my classes — just as friends. Not like I had a choice.

But the point is, rather than locking myself in a room and ranting on LiveJournal about how much I hated women, I decided to spend even more time around them, and learn about them. I grew up around a lot of women in my family, so it was a comfort zone for me and I was always interested in what they had to say. I don’t claim to be an expert on women, obviously, but as I get older I’ve been told by women how rare it is for men to have actually done this in their lives.

When we would do family dinners on Sundays, I’d choose to be hanging around the table with the women instead of yelling at the football game with the men. To me, they always seemed to be more evolved and intellectually challenging. I didn’t want to grunt and drink beer and light things on fire.

Now, as a grown adult (physically, not mentally), I still find myself getting along better with women than (some) men. I am typically around groups of women in my social circles, and often times I find myself being the only guy in the group.

About 10 years ago I found myself in a social circle with guys I’d made friends with, and I couldn’t believe how many women were around them. I wasn’t used to being friends with guys who attracted women, nor was I used to being one. I noticed how much more fun everyone was having, and how comfortable they all were together. I spent more and more time with them and learned more about myself and everyone around me.

Some of these situations over the past years, of course, have led to relationships with one of the women, or maybe a shorter term fling — but that’s life, and often times building a relationship off of friendship is most successful.

“But if men and women can’t be friends, then what are you even saying?”

Can men and women be just friends? Well, what I’m saying is, you can choose to evolve past those feelings and not act on them — prioritize your thoughts and emotions. Don’t be controlled by the desire to jump into bed with any woman who looks in your direction.

Instead, choose to build friendships with the women around you because women offer a whole different perspective on the world than “your boys” do. They have had different life experiences, they’ve had challenges we don’t have (and vice versa), they talk about different subjects than we do, they will expand your horizons. And, they will improve your intimate relationships.

Spending more platonic time around women will help you understand them. What they do and don’t want, what they do and don’t enjoy, and how to effectively communicate to learn the wants and desires of the one woman you do decide to commit yourself to.

Men and women have different communication styles, and just like any other language, the best way to learn it is total immersion. Would you rather take an Italian class, or move to Rome for a year?

Not to mention, spending time with women will help you to become more well-rounded since they will help you see the world in different ways and open you up to new experiences.

If I were running around Los Angeles trying to sleep with every beautiful woman I came across, I’d burn up my social circle pretty quickly and always be alone because everyone would think I’d just be trying to get them into bed.

Please understand me: I am not suggesting you turn yourself into “the nice guy” and land perpetually in the friend zone where you are going to be frustrated and resentful all the time. I am saying that I’d much rather build friendships with substance and be able to do amazing things with amazing people. If you approach meeting new people with this perspective, they will be much more open to communicating with and learning about you.

I get a lot of questions from guys about how it is that I spend a lot of time around beautiful women, and the answer is pretty simple. They’re used to constantly being bombarded by men who are trying to get into their pants. You’ll find that they’re much more comfortable around heterosexual men who aren’t trying to sleep with them.

If the mutual attraction is there and something is going to naturally evolve over time, then that’s when the real magic happens, because you’re going to end up with someone you know you enjoy being around without sex being involved. A relationship based solely on sex will falter and fail at the first sign of trouble, whereas a relationship built on a solid foundation of friendship will be able to weather a storm.

Just be normal. Be genuine. Be caring. Communicate. Be friends.

You deserve, at least, this much.

I find lately that any time I write an article outlining certain traits of men or how we “should” or “shouldn’t” act in a relationship (I have to be careful with those words because people often accuse me of telling everyone how to act), I get plenty of backlash from those who disagree with what I’m saying because men do not realistically act in these ways.

First thing’s first: Good men do act in these ways. If you are going to put an asterisk on behavior that’s to be expected from well-adjusted, emotionally stable, good man, then you’re not dating a good man. Here’s how to know if he’s a good man. They might make you strap on a jet pack and full throttle it in the other direction:

1. A good man will never pick apart your looks.
“Oh, if only your hair was a little longer.” “If only you lost those couple of extra pounds.” “If you would only wear more makeup.”

A good man will never take jabs at your appearance in a way that’s demeaning to you or makes you feel badly about yourself. If he is doing this, he’s purposely attempting to lower your self-worth so you won’t feel confident enough to leave him. It’s his way of trying to control you and it’s emotional abuse. Walk. Away. Now.

2. A good man will never invade your privacy.
In a healthy relationship, there is no need to hide anything. Texts, emails, Facebook messages, whatever. But that doesn’t mean your partner has the right to snoop through them if you happen to leave your phone around or your computer open.

Someone who does this is showing a massive insecurity on their part and is likely projecting their own infidelities and issues onto you. This should not be ignored. This is assuming you haven’t done anything that would make him suspicious or betrayed his trust.

3. A good man will never discourage you.
A sign of a person’s confidence in themselves is how they help to support the ambition of others. A good man will always be willing to help and support those around him and will never be discouraging or insulting.

4. A good man will recognize your value; he will not make you feel the need to prove it to him.
The minute you feel that you have to prove your worth to the person you’re with is the minute you’ll know to walk away. A man or woman should be with you because they value and appreciate who you are, not what you do or how well you sell yourself to them.

5. A good man will never make you feel like an afterthought.
While a relationship shouldn’t be someone’s entire life, it’s certainly a large part of it. I’ve heard too many stories about women who constantly get cast aside for “guy’s night” or something similar. A man should have have a network and individuality, sure. But there is a difference between leading an active social life, and knocking the woman in your life further and further down your priority list. If you feel like you’re waiting for him to come home more than you’re actually with him, it’s time to step back and take another look at where your relationship is going.

6. A good man will never make you feel like you are alone in the relationship.
Relationships are a partnership. A team. A two-way street. They’re supposed to enhance your life, not complicate it. If you’re with a man who is complacent in life and love, puts no effort into you or the relationship, then it’s time to re-evaluate. Keep in mind, it’s natural for people to get depressed and unmotivated at times.

If this is someone you’ve been with for a long time, I’m certainly not saying kick him to the curb at the first sign of a slump. We all go through them. What I’m referring to here is someone who is simply apathetic and makes you feel like he doesn’t care. You deserve someone who will wake up every morning and pledge to do and be the best they can for you because that’s how to know if he’s a good man.

7, A good man will never cheat on you.
There are plenty of arguments in the world that monogamy is not “natural” and that humans are not biologically wired to spend an entire lifetime with one single person. Regardless of the scientific validity of this statement, one thing remains true: Monogamy is a personal choice made by two people in a relationship.

There is literally nothing physical binding two people together; just a decision. A good man will never cheat in a relationship because cheating means going back on his word or breaking a promise he has made to someone he loves.

8. A good man will never disrespect you.
Easy, simple, basic, but often overlooked. A good man will show respect to everyone around him. He will not be condescending or put anyone down, regardless of intelligence level or professional position. As the saying goes, “a man of quality is not afraid of equality.”

You deserve, at least, this much.

I find lately that any time I write an article outlining certain traits of men or how we “should” or “shouldn’t” act in a relationship (I have to be careful with those words because people often accuse me of telling everyone how to act), I get plenty of backlash from those who disagree with what I’m saying because men do not realistically act in these ways.

First thing’s first: Good men do act in these ways. If you are going to put an asterisk on behavior that’s to be expected from well-adjusted, emotionally stable, good man, then you’re not dating a good man. Here’s how to know if he’s a good man. They might make you strap on a jet pack and full throttle it in the other direction:

1. A good man will never pick apart your looks.
“Oh, if only your hair was a little longer.” “If only you lost those couple of extra pounds.” “If you would only wear more makeup.”

A good man will never take jabs at your appearance in a way that’s demeaning to you or makes you feel badly about yourself. If he is doing this, he’s purposely attempting to lower your self-worth so you won’t feel confident enough to leave him. It’s his way of trying to control you and it’s emotional abuse. Walk. Away. Now.

2. A good man will never invade your privacy.
In a healthy relationship, there is no need to hide anything. Texts, emails, Facebook messages, whatever. But that doesn’t mean your partner has the right to snoop through them if you happen to leave your phone around or your computer open.

Someone who does this is showing a massive insecurity on their part and is likely projecting their own infidelities and issues onto you. This should not be ignored. This is assuming you haven’t done anything that would make him suspicious or betrayed his trust.

3. A good man will never discourage you.
A sign of a person’s confidence in themselves is how they help to support the ambition of others. A good man will always be willing to help and support those around him and will never be discouraging or insulting.

4. A good man will recognize your value; he will not make you feel the need to prove it to him.
The minute you feel that you have to prove your worth to the person you’re with is the minute you’ll know to walk away. A man or woman should be with you because they value and appreciate who you are, not what you do or how well you sell yourself to them.

5. A good man will never make you feel like an afterthought.
While a relationship shouldn’t be someone’s entire life, it’s certainly a large part of it. I’ve heard too many stories about women who constantly get cast aside for “guy’s night” or something similar. A man should have have a network and individuality, sure. But there is a difference between leading an active social life, and knocking the woman in your life further and further down your priority list. If you feel like you’re waiting for him to come home more than you’re actually with him, it’s time to step back and take another look at where your relationship is going.

6. A good man will never make you feel like you are alone in the relationship.
Relationships are a partnership. A team. A two-way street. They’re supposed to enhance your life, not complicate it. If you’re with a man who is complacent in life and love, puts no effort into you or the relationship, then it’s time to re-evaluate. Keep in mind, it’s natural for people to get depressed and unmotivated at times.

If this is someone you’ve been with for a long time, I’m certainly not saying kick him to the curb at the first sign of a slump. We all go through them. What I’m referring to here is someone who is simply apathetic and makes you feel like he doesn’t care. You deserve someone who will wake up every morning and pledge to do and be the best they can for you because that’s how to know if he’s a good man.

7, A good man will never cheat on you.
There are plenty of arguments in the world that monogamy is not “natural” and that humans are not biologically wired to spend an entire lifetime with one single person. Regardless of the scientific validity of this statement, one thing remains true: Monogamy is a personal choice made by two people in a relationship.

There is literally nothing physical binding two people together; just a decision. A good man will never cheat in a relationship because cheating means going back on his word or breaking a promise he has made to someone he loves.

8. A good man will never disrespect you.
Easy, simple, basic, but often overlooked. A good man will show respect to everyone around him. He will not be condescending or put anyone down, regardless of intelligence level or professional position. As the saying goes, “a man of quality is not afraid of equality.”

9. A good man will never avoid important conversations.
Whether it be between family members or in a relationship, a good man understands that no problem can be resolved until it is faced. The only thing that avoidance of difficulties will accomplish is delaying the inevitable and potentially making things worse. There is a difference between choosing your battles and avoiding conflict altogether — the important thing is to know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em.

10. A good man will NEVER abuse you.
There are many different types of abuse, certainly not just physical and certainly not just in a relationship. Someone can be emotionally abusive toward a child or pet as well as their significant other. Regardless, they all have one thing in common: The desire to break another down.

A good man recognizes that his confidence and worth comes from within himself and never from attempting to place others below him. At any sign of any type of abuse, walk (run) away immediately. It will not get better, and you deserve more.

We need to stop making excuses for those who mistreat us and start lowering our tolerance for this nonsense. Any self-respecting decent human being will treat you with the love and compassion that you deserve. If they don’t, then what’s the point of staying with them?

1. The ‘You’ll discover love when you’re not looking’ approach might not be right. Try Meeti App
That resembles saying, “You’ll discover work when you’re slightest searching for it,” said Pepper Schwartz, a relationship master and humanism educator at the University of Washington. It’s conceivable, yet once in a while happens.
“Generally, individuals who sit tight for a vocation are jobless,” she included. “For me, it’s only a reason for being terrified to go and put the exertion in. Indeed, it happens, however no, it’s not a decent procedure.”
Schwartz agrees with the hidden notion of that idiom: Don’t be edgy. Put the exertion in to discover somebody, however don’t act like any breathing body will do.
2. Go where individuals like similar things you like.
You can skip singles occasions on the off chance that you don’t care for them, yet you need to go where you can meet individuals, Schwartz prompted. Join social gatherings or meet-ups; be a working drone in a reason you have faith in; get engaged with political gatherings. In any event, you’re accomplishing something you like and at the absolute best, you’ll meet someone similarly invested.
Take care of business and attempt web based dating for a major pool of potential competitors, Schwartz included. In case you’re as of now on the web, attempt an alternate dating webpage.
3. Gaze upward from your telephone with Meeti Dating App
Great men and great ladies are wherever — in case you’re looking, noted Bela Gandhi, a TODAY donor and originator of the Smart Dating Academy in Chicago. She’s flabbergasted individuals frequently grumble they don’t meet anybody, yet then go out and hold their heads down the whole time, gazing at their gadgets.
Wherever you are, be available and check out the space to see who is taking a gander at you. Reach the charming outsider and grin — that is a welcome for him to come over and converse with you, she exhorted.
4. Try not to look for sentiment, look for association.
Sentiment is for dates, and it’s enjoyable to have once in a while in your marriage, however it’s organization that will get you through the unpleasant circumstances, said Tina B. Tessina, a California psychotherapist otherwise called “Dr. Sentiment” and creator of “How to be Happy Partners: Working it out Together.”
“Try not to search for somebody who impresses you. That demonstrates a control oddity, and you won’t care for what happens later,” she exhorted. “Search for somebody who likes give-and-take, who looks for your feeling and thinks of it as, who thinks about what you need, as well.”
5. Upbeat individuals draw in individuals.
Perhaps the greatest issue in not having the capacity to discover love is that you’re not liking yourself. Like yourself and like your life — truly chip away at that, Schwartz exhorted. You must be the individual that you’d need to meet.
“In case you’re not an upbeat, constructive, self-assured individual, you cut your odds of being in the correct space for the correct sort of individual,” she said.
Go to an advisor to perceive any reason why you’re discouraged; get a mentor in the event that you haven’t been working out, and visit a nutritionist to start eating right. In case you’re modest, acknowledge you could be less timid.
“The thought is that you need to prepare for everything, and you need to prepare for adoration too,” Schwartz said. “You can deal with yourself. You’re not a completed item unless you’re dead.”

Is it you … or them?
You’re a single gal and ready to meet a great guy.
There are many ways to meet guys, but attracting the right type of guy seems to be a bit more of a challenge. Why does it often feel like the guys who pursue you, the ones who really like you, are so unattractive and start to annoy or repulse you?
It’s the same pattern over and over: A guy is attracted to you, and you give him a chance. Then, like every other guy who’s attracted to you, he shows his true colors and you end turned off and upset that wasting your time and energy.
While you can try to blame your “wrong man mojo” or Murphy’s Law, encountering these types makes you lose hope in finding a great guy. Believe me, I know! I used to be a magnet for guys that ended up repulsing me. By my mid 20’s I thought I would be single forever.
Eventually, I realized the only way to meet a great guy was to stop wasting my time on the not-so-great ones. To do this I had to understand why the men that were attracted to me caused me to lose interest almost immediately.
Once I understood the ‘why’ part of this equation, I learned to avoid these types of guys and stay on the trail to find Mr. Right.
Now I want to help you do the same.
So, on behalf of woman everywhere, I recalled all of my own “Mr-Right-Turned-Wrong” scenarios and have come up with four reasons why we never end up liking the guys who like us.

1. He has traits that you won’t simply don’t tolerate in yourself.
My advice? Cut ties with this guy and continue to see yourself as the kick-ass woman that you truly are.

2. You were fooled by his façade.
Who hasn’t encountered Mr. Smooth? You know the type, he comes out of nowhere, reads you like a book, and knows all the right things to say.
Yep, he understands you, takes time to listen and has all the other qualities you want in a man. You fall head over heels, let your guard down, and welcome him into your life.
For a while things are great, and you have the relationship of your dreams. But slowly you see changes in his personality and inconsistencies in his statements and actions.
At first, you cut him some slack, see his behavior as his reaction to a bad day or a misinterpretation of the situation. But it eventually becomes clear that he is not the person you thought he was. Turns out he’s nothing more than a smooth-talking womanizer who’s been using you
Of course, the mere thought of him repulses to you! Who wouldn’t be freaked out?
But you’re just as disappointed in yourself for falling for his façade. Your feelings are normal and most women place too much of the blame on themselves and not enough on the guy that pulls this kind of stuff.
My advice? Let it go, learn from the experience, and be glad you don’t have to pretend to be someone else to get close to someone.

3. He tells others about your private life.
Your private relationship should stay private. That’s how you build trust and a sense of intimacy.
My close friend found the man of her dreams in law school. As she sat in a huge auditorium, she locked eyes with an intriguing and handsome man who eventually asked her out. He had all the qualities she had wanted in a man, and she quickly fell for him.
Within months they moved in together and settled into their relationship.
But by their last year of law school, the pressure of classes took a toll on their relationship and they stopped getting along. Unbeknownst to her, he began discussing private matters and details about their relationship with his family.
Having a close relationship with your family is one thing, but telling your family everything about your relationship is disrespectful to your partner and breaks the integrity of the relationship.
The reason this is so repulsive is it reeks of insecurity. You can’t help but wonder why he needed to get reassurance from everyone else instead of from you, and why he wasn’t confident enough to deal with your issues privately.
My advice? If you’ve tried to resolve this privacy issue between the two of you and he keeps making your private relationship public, you have every right to walk away.

4. He’s threatened by your self-confidence.
In my late teens, I had very little self-confidence and poor self-esteem. I didn’t feel like could handle college so I settled for working minimum wage jobs.
One day, I met a charming older man who made me laugh and feel special. Before long we started dating and he insisted that I let him help me with my bills so I could get back on my feet.
Flattered, grateful and in disbelief, I accepted his offer and saw him as my knight in shining armor.
As I grew as a person and gained more life experience, I decided to start taking college classes. I was an A student and breezed through college in no time.
Getting my Associate’s Degree did wonders for my self-image and confidence level.
Unfortunately, he preferred the weaker and more dependent version of me and the dynamic between us changed. Our relationship became a power struggle and he became very controlling. I ended up repulsed by the fact that he didn’t respect me for accomplishing a goal and becoming stronger as a result.
My advice? If this scenario familiar, get away from this guy and you’ll strengthen your level of confidence and find more independence and happiness.
Consider each of these points so you’ll be able to avoid his type of guy in the future.
And don’t feel bad if you find yourself in these patterns. It happens to the best of us, ladies!
Sooner or later we’re bound to end up repulsed by a man that finds attractive. While you have no control over who peruses or thinks you’re hot stuff, remember to always put yourself first and do what you need to do to remain fabulous.